palanca huh?

well this is kind of crazy but i am in my right mind right now but i just couldn't believe what i'm doing.
i am downloading and printing forms, rules and authorizations for the 59th Carlos Palanca Memorial Awards for Literature.
i am freaaakin joining the competition! lol
i know it's sounds sooo ambitious.
i have been dreaming of joining the competition but not this early when i am just a froshie in my 3rd term of my MFA.
but then again, it was made clear by my professor at the beginning of the term that we are required to submit a palanca worthy creative non-fiction piece.
okaaaay. so i guess i'd have to deal with it then.
i know there's a one in a million chance that i'll win this competition. i know so but at least i get to live the dream of joining such.
so maybe next time, fingers, toes, tongue, and eyes crossed, i'll get to live the dream of winning such.
wishful thinking too early eh?

--what made you jumpy as a jellybean today?

!*#$^?%Y#!!!

whenever a balikbayan relative comes home, there won't be a part where they would ignore the fact that i am NOT a nurse or make sure that in the next couple of years, i turn out to be one. reason being is for me to be able to go to the states, work there, help my family and all that stuff. i smile wryly and tell them "i'm afraid of blood" even if i know that it's the lamest excuse. without hesitation, they would prod and make me realize that it's just as easy as ABC and that i need to make a few sacrifices and once i get the hang of it, i'll enjoy it, and maybe someday, reap the fruits of my labor. i give up and smile and keep my mouth shut to prevent myself from telling them things that they'd be sorry to hear. then again, they are my relatives, and not to mention, very much older than i am.

going to the states is awesome, but they won't be able to force me to become a nurse to be able to go there. nurses are great people and i think they should be respected and should not be thought of as people who have easy access to the U.S.A.

pop's blog

since i don't have time to edit my layout and add some links yet , i'll be posting my father's blog link here. i'd like to believe that i inspired him again to write on his blog with my pen and ink and more ink entry. he hasn't written there in six months i guess and today he posted not only one but six entries.

http://egotrikk.blogspot.com/

of gossip girl and my writing and picture taking

watching the entire season 2 of gossip girl after all can put out creative juices. i was inspired by jenny (a fashion designer) and dan (a writer) humphrey to dig up these photos. these were before starting my new job and my MFA. in short, these photos were products of my being a bum. i bought a point and shoot pentax from my back pay and started taking pictures of practically anything inside the house. i only got to do outdoor stuff whenever i attended birthdays, weddings, baptisms. while looking for these in my multiply account, i noticed that the recent photos were only that of me attending some gathering and most of the photos by me were on the archived pages. i stopped taking photos when i started MFA. it was either i didn't have enough time with school or work. i remember posting an entry about being all i can be (not the BB Gandanghari kind of way) vs. sticking with what i really want to do and focus on it. i want to take more photos from around the city, the people and not just just still images. i want the viewers to be moved when they see or read my work as mentioned in my previous entry as well.

christmas 2007

summer bummer 2008

summer bummer 2008

first godmothering stint 2008

city shots 2008

LRT shots 2008

feeling social-realist 2008

feeling social realist pa din 2008

i dunno how i'm gonna do it but i want to do both writing and photography. not that the two would be different, because both capture certain images. it's a matter of time management which i am soooo struggling to do manage right now.

as for gossip girl, i may be the lowly jenny humphrey, but like her, i can be good at my craft if i work really hard for it.

xoxo.

R.I.P kiko

it has been a celebrity week.
chirs brown, rihanna, and the eraserheads.
today, it's francis m.
my officemate told me after lunch that she received a text message from a friend.
"francis m. already passed away"
i told her "di nga? seryoso ka?"
"ano ba ang makukuha ko pag nagsinungaling ako girl?" she said.
oo nga naman.
and so the day went by without francis m's death really in mind.
i watched the news and then it struck me when i saw his family.
his kids especially.
being the emotional that i am,
i was crying the entire time they said something wonderful about their father.
his last words, his last glance, last smile etc.
emo, i know.
it's just that i realized that they won't have a father to come home to and share stories with (physically)
that after so many years of being together while growing up, he suddenly dies and won't come back ever again.
it's painful.

eraserheads

concert na naman ng eraserheads ngayong sabado. may mga nalalaman pa silang "Among the 10,000,000 Filipino fans, only 100,000 can witness it live on March 7" at "This will be the reunion of all reunions as it is said to be Buddy, Ely, Marcus and Raimund’s last performance as the Eraserheads in the country for the next 10 years.." sa totoo lang, pagkatapos kong mapanood yung mga video sa youtube ang concert nila, pinangako ko sa sarili ko na hindi ko palalampasin ang pangalawang pagkakataon na ito. na pihadong pihado na andodoon ako sa araw na magaganap itong pambihirang kasaysayan lalo nat mukhang pang huli na ito. pero eto na naman ako. ni wala man lang akong tinext (bukod kay joyce) para makipag-usap sa mga makakasama kong manood o kung meron pang tiket. at eto na naman ako, pinalalagpas na naman ang isang pagkakataon.

naiinis ako sa sarili ko dahil hindi ko ito unang beses ginawa. mukhang nakakasanayan ko na ang ganitong pag-uugali na kung susuriin ay hindi nararapat. lagi kong ipinapangako na hindi na mauulit ang kagagahan o ang katamaran pero mukhang dun din nauuwi. kahapon lamang ay may naisulat ako tungkol kay rihanna na kahit anung pasa ng mukha niya ay binalikan pa rin niya ang nobyo niyang nananakit. nakakalungkot kung iisipin pero kung tutuusin, maihahalintulad din ang karamihan sa atin sa kanya, yung umaasang may mababago, magiging okey, pero walang ginagawa. hindi kumikilos.

sana lang hindi ito ang huli ng eraserheads. sana ay mabigyan nila ako ng pagkakataong tuparin ang mga pangako ko.

chrianna

after being battered and left in a highway all alone by boyfriend chris brown, rihanna and boyfriend chris are back together! seriously?! what was she thinking? i'm no chrianna fan but damage has been done and i don't think it would do them any good. same goes to all the emotionally or physically battered women who still think of giving those kind people second chances.

photo from tmz.com

random thought while reading

reading through the article written about mookie katigbak in philippines free press whose picture appears on the cover, i came accross this:

"That includes her fiancee and fellow former musician, Angelo Lacuesta, the literary editor of this magazine who has no part in this feature, as the editors who insisted on this idea wish to emphasize; delicadeza, as it rarely applies in politics now, is still very much the norm among writers."

poor mookie, who has been working her hardest is being defended for having a writer-editor fiancee because people think she was chosen to be the "cover girl" because of that.

i think it is unfair to deprive people like her of credits where it is due.

pen and ink and more ink

it struck me only now when i thought of studying ekphrasis even if it is not included in the MFA subjects. i can do ekphrastic poems for my fathers pen and ink drawings. and (i may be going overbored) maybe publish a book similar to that of Gemino Abad and daughter Cyan abad-jugo's father and daughter. only, in the book, it would be poems about his works and of course his artworks.

i've always admired my father for his social awareness. unlike many others, his artworks depict the ordinary marginalized people in society and their struggles for an improved quality of life. he was even labelled as a social realist in one of the reviews about his exhibit although he does not really belong to that group. it's just that he is inspired by their works.

like him, i want to put to words what i see or experience in the society that most people do not take notice of. one good way to do it is to put to words what my father has drawn.

the pasig river ferry

i have been wanting to ride this ferry boat since 2007 but was only able to do so just recently. i was disappointed because after malacanang (where no photos could be taken by the way) there were no other beautiful sights to see aside from the backview of factories and the squatters area. well, what could one expect anyway.

the ferry was airconed and there was a pirated DVD movie playing while on board. there were a couple of passengers riding from station to station. i was amazed on how a ferry boat can go backwards like a jeepney or any other road vehicle can do. the trip was boring except for the malacanang and post office view and sights of innocent children waving to the passengers of the ferry.

**i know i can do better than this, pardon the random rambling.

facebook mania

i've heard celebrities fight over the change of status in facebook, or relationships ruined because of some updates in facebook. last night was my 54 year old father's almost the same experience. he visited a friends page (who was a devout catholic and converted to a christian religion) and accidentally clicked on his pages called Assemblies of God. little did he know that the page was added on his profile and whenever someone views his profile, they would see the Assemblies of God logo on it. being an ex seminarian, he received comments on his wall (by his ex-seminarian friends) about how he was being a traitor by saying

Raul, I AM SO SHOCKED!!! I AM SO SURPRISED.... ET TU, BRUTE!!! Are you a member of that Church now?????

he was laughing his ass off because he didn't have a clue on how that page was added on to his because after viewing the page, he logged out.

he asked my help to remove it but wewere laughing at him because he is now getting addicted to facebook and was victimized by it. harhar.

kids these days...

my sister (a second year h.s. student) told me while watching the news about survivor philippines season 2 wannabees that a lot of h.s. students from her school were absent today because Pinoy Big Brother Teen edition held auditions. there was even a class where only 10 students were left, all the other 30 students were battling it out with thousands of wannabees.

funny that these kids would rather follow an endless line under the midday sun rather than be in an airconed classroom, sitting down and listening to the days take aways.

the 1 centavo and other lapuy memories

i didn't know we still had a one centavo coin in the philippines so i kept only one when the cashier from the grocery gave me 7 of those. last time i checked, the 1 centavo coin was silver and squarish, and that was 20 years ago. i even remember the 5 and 10 centavo coins could still buy me a safari, the cheapest junk food back in the early 90's. just recently, my mother asked me before going to work, "Do you still have enough money?" i said "yes pero puro lapuy" referring to the 5 and 10 cents that sm gave me as change. i was surprised at my answer that even after 20+ years, i still called it the same way i did back when i was a kid. i realized only just today that the name originated from Lapu-Lapu who was a main 1 sentimo fixture. i laughed at the thought of having all these crazy kid stuff come to mind, and some made sense.

back in the days, i remember our school having one long sink with 20 faucets tilted sidewards, 10 on each side that served as a drinking fountain for students. i remember drinking from the only faucet that remained useful, and stopped after seeing the dog licking the faucet itself. i didn't hear anybody who got sick after drinking from that same faucet anyway.

my other school made each section compete over the most clean room from grades 1-6 then 1st-4th year high school. everyone worked their asses off while making the floor shiny and dust free. the coveted prize was a worn-out banner and bragging rights as the principal announced the winner during flag ceremony. now i realize that even back then, i was already overworked and underpaid. sheeesh.

even back then, i realized how to be discriminated and "name valued" (if there's such) all at the same time. my father worked as a curator at the third floor of the building where there were rehearsals for some play being conducted that day. thinking that i was only an usi, the guy immediately dismissed me and thought of me as someone who only wanted to watch the play for free. i cried because he didn't listen to me at all, i sat in the stairs outside the door he was guarding when someone noticed me crying, when i looked up, it was the secretary of a nearby office who knew me. the lady approached the guy and told him how he would be sorry to have not let me in because i was so and so's daughter.

an elementary student, i was always surrounded with college students because we played at their building while waiting for papa. there were these three guys who had long kinky hair and tattoos all over their arms, they had metal bracelets and goatees. rumor was that the guys had a hard time hailing a trycicle driver because they thought of them as murderers and ill-mannered people. nowadays, the anong-paki-mo-sa-long-hair-ko sort of thing is sooo in.

funny thoughts a 1 centavo coin could bring back. hope we also bring back it's value.

oysters inc.

i wanna write about these oysters that come in different shapes and sizes that i come accross with every morning.

how do i start thee?

chiaroscuro

with only 250 bucks in hand, i looked for Joel Toledo's chiaroscuro at the book store. tolentino...tiongson... i was starting to lose hope. but when i looked closer, toledo's book was stuck between two thick books making it hard for the buyers to find it.

there it was, in one plastic covered piece as if it was meant for me and is just waiting for me to buy it.

the kuripot in me told me: "you may need it for now but after submitting your paper, will you still read it? you can borrow from someone else and return it once you're done"

i secretly opened the book covered in plastic and flipped through the pages, i wanted it so badly but the kuripot in me kept talking. "go buy ricky lee's novel instead, you want to read it diba? just add P50 and you'll have yourself a Para kay B"

with the poetry book in hand, i scanned through the pages of Para kay B, read the blurb and loved the illustrations. thing is, i had money enough for me to buy 1 book only. i put down the ricky lee and went to the cashier to pay the toledo. until now, i still can't believe how i ignored the kuripot in me and went for what i really wanted and got myself my first filipino poetry book (hah. go figure). having this book feels really really different that no matter how i repeat the words really before different, it still won't describe how surprisingly happy i am with this.

as for Para kay B, whoever has it, can you let me borrow one?

dreams and do its

i've always dreamt of being able to write and illustrate my own books for children and admire shel silverstein for being able to do it.

and of course, i've always admired filipino illustrators like beth parrocha-doctolero and brian vallesteros for being able to produce such wonderful work of art. i hope i can be like them and shel someday.

<<

my stomach flipped when i saw him waiting for the tour to start outside the Ateneo Art Gallery. after listening to the curator, we had time to go around and look and take pictures and since we sort of cornered him, he obliged to have his picture taken with us. he looked surprised as he stared at the giddy me. and so i told him,

"i read your blog."

this time he was more surprised, placing both of his hands on his chest,

"You must know too much about me already."

i laughed and said

"oh yes including your love life and all"

referring to his recent posts about a break-up and the drama of moving on.

i never saw him again (facebook aside) until i revisited his blog yesterday and it was as if i was back in Taboan, 2 thursdays ago in Ateneo while reading the first few paragraphs of Ian Rosales Casocot's feb 18 blog entry.

epol/apple;star/stah

...to access voicemail, you must dial star 96.

what? 496? says the customer on the other line.

no.

star. like twinkle twinkle little STAR.

(customer laughs) ooooh stah!

apparently our customers pronounce it in their aussie slang as STAH. but if we directly say stah, we would get a markdown from the communication coaches for not knowing/pronouncing the word as it is. hence the kani-kaniyang imbensyon.

thanks to dr. cruz for making me realize that i have a lot of things to write about. i get to talk to at least 30 people a day and each of them have their own funny, sarcastic and annoying moments.

ka-ching ka-ching

P288,146,473.20

if someone could have money this much, would one still be happy and feel at peace?

i think not.

hope a lot of people will benefit from this.

wawa-r veterans

http://www.nancarrow-webdesk.com/warehouse/storage2/2008-w45/img.404791_t.jpg

call me a drama queen but i felt like my heart was being small-pinched while watching the news. the war veterans were earnestly waiting for the processing of their papers outside the U.S. embassy accompanied by their equally old wives. they deserve it, no question. but how come after so many years, and after so many of them died, they were only able to benefit from it now? and then there was ambassador to the U.S. being interviewed, feeling happy, feeling great for the veterans, all smiles facing the camera.

ang nasabi ko lang:

"ma-showbiz siya noh?"

to each his own

got this from an email that i received a couple of days ago. perfect timing because i've been a little too busy with schoolwork lately and yaman din lamang that this person has gained most of the attention since he outed himself, might as well take it to a higher level. i vividly remember him as a handsome and honorable soldier in one of his supporting roles alongside his brother. now there's still the soldier in her that's brave enough to be all she can be.

anything goes

“My short response is: She should read a book on menopause,”

“My long response is: Question 1 – Why doesn’t she [Hontiveros] run for senator and win? Question 2 – Why doesn’t she have the guts to deliver a privilege speech in the House and subject herself to the interpellation of her colleagues?”

“Then what rules should be applied?”

“If the prosecutor or judge later throws out the case recommended by Congress for non-compliance with the Rules on Evidence, what is her alternative?”

“I’m very glad to say that my colleagues were solid and spoke as one in this matter, that there should be no effort [to affect the Senate inquiry], especially by an external factor such as an anonymous little insect…who just wants publicity for herself [by] trying to teach the Senate what to do,”

these are the quotable quotes that could pass as telenovela one liners or forwarded text messages. miriam is unbelievable! tss.

full story HERE

we are family

nope. they're not the brother and the sister of this baby girl.

they are her parents.
as in 15 y.o mum and 13 y.o dad.

i've read this story in two blogs already. one in Keiranazril’s Blog and another in Karen Anne's Blog

for the full story, click HERE

my Leyte High, alma mater ever dear

i studied in the same school as them. i don't know though if i ever entered or had classes in this same room.


back when i was in high school, the Leyte National High School had more than 50 sections per year level. each section had 45-50 students. there were "higher" and "lower" sections, there was also SPA (special program for the arts). since i was in the second section, i pretty much wasn't able to celebrate the prom together with the first and third sections because we celebrated our JS prom in two days, from 1pm-7pm and the attendees for day one were sections with odd numbers, and the second, with even ones.


since there were a lot of students, subjects like MAPEH and THE were done in rooms "ha bukid" (at the nearby hill) and we travelled from the "lowlands" to the "highlands" depending on what the subjects were. we cut grass after classes for CAT and discussed computer in the room but the practical exams were with the use of a "bolo" and "silhig" (machete and broom).

for the periodical exams, the "lower" sections had to take it in the morning, and the "higher" ones, in the afternoon, being given the entire morning to study.


during foundation days, motorists anticipate the heavy traffic in the small town and watch from the sidelines instead.


no matter how we emphasized the word higher when we mentioned that we come from the "higher" sections, we were still equal with the ones on the "lower" sections on the demeaning remarks of people. they'd often tag the school as one for repeaters, drug addicts, thieves, bastards and all the negative things they could think of. inspite of this, a good number of our alumni end up studying in a whole variety of prestigious schools.


as for me, i am proud that i chose LNHS to be my high school alma mater. my parents could have sent me to a private/chinese/exclusive school and let me experience high school with the comforts of airconditioned rooms, computers and real stairs instead of a paved way to the bukid but they knew that i would have more fun being around with different kinds of people and learn not only academically but also street smartly.

i

just can't get enough...
still find it hard to believe that i was side by side with other writers...
have a really bad stomach ache...
have lots of things in mind...

shouldn't be writing then if it's all about me that i'm gonna write about...

i'm gonna stop now.

tah.

Taboan

non visayans read it as tabowan instead of tabo-an which comes from the word tabo. i don't have the exact definition of the word but as far as i can remember, it was a day where the goods being sold were cheaper and the earlier you go there, the cheaper the goods will be. i used to tell my mother to go there later than the scheduled time since i wanted to go with her but was still sleepy. she just simply told me that it would defeat the purpose.

it turned out to be the same with the Taboan: The Philippine International Writers Festival 2009 where you won't be able to catch the talk, if you're too lazy to go early or squeeze yourself into a roomfull of audience.

it was a wonderful experience to be in touch with the writers whom you get to see only in the author's info of their books.

going back...

today was a reunion with my what-am-i-here-for? questions.

and i got my answers.

for the past terms that i have been studying, although i really learned a lot of things, i felt that there was something that was still missing.

i thought i already found it in CNF and was very happy about it that i even wrote an entry about "hearing my calling."

until today.

when i attended the talk about children's literature.

it reminded me of the things that i really wanted in the first place.

my dreams and do it's.

it made me dig up the files and look for my letter of intent to study creative writing.

"I also see myself having a published book for young adults already." (answering the question, "what would you be in 10 years?" haha. and i thought it was that easy to publish one!)

"I have noticed that unlike in the States, there are just a few books specially made for young adults here in the Philippines. It could be the reason for these young adults to be more interested in watching the television than reading books. Hopefully, with my graduate studies in hand, I would be able to help promote awareness by making fun and entertaining books for them to find out that there are lots of things that they can learn from books alone. Thus, there will be more children or young adults who would be interested in reading not only books but also the broadsheet and will have broader knowledge when it comes to politics or stuff that they need to be aware of."

"I would be interested in investigating more on the things I discussed aforementioned. Books for young adults in the states have different variations. Almost all the things that they experience as young adults are written. From cliques, popularity and jocks to school activities, secret crushes and friendship. Here in the Philippines, I have read one so far but it would be better if there are lots of choices and would be of different topics. I am aware of children’s books and chic lits being written but have not heard any other books by Filipino authors in between the mentioned genres that focus on being a youth. I hope I can make it possible."

wanting to write about cliques, popularity, jocks, school activities, secret crushes and friendship was a year ago, before i started MFA. but i start to realize that there are a lot of things that has not been written about yet. The experiences of a Filipino young adult specially in times like this would be a good start.

it was a wonderful experience listening to the speakers (and meeting them too)

children's lit is love.

isang taon...

mula nang lumantad si jun lozada
mula nang sinubaybayan ko ang mga hearing sa telebisyon at ang mga palitan ng mga maaanghang na bintang at salita
mula nang maging mala teleserye ang congreso sa mga luha at pighati ni jun
mula nang bumisita siya sa mga paaralan upang magbigay ng "talk"
mula nang mamulat ang sangkatauhan at nagtipon sa makati upang maisaboses ang ipinaglalaban
mula nang idinaos ang samu't saring misa para sa kapayapaan, sa katotohanan.

isang taon at marami pa ang nadagdag na katiwalian, katarantaduhan, at kalokohan.

isang taon at walang nangyari sa ipinaglaban ni jun lozada.

isang taon ngunit parepareho parin ang mga problema.

may pag-asa pa kaya?

...

"buti pa ang mga dolphin, napa-alis ng matiwasay. ang mga buwaya kaya kelan?"

-a text message by a listener to a radio program.

binoe clones

walking slowly on my way home, i thought of all the things in school that were nearing the deadliest deadline. i have more than 4 papers to finalize, 2 to make and 2 more to edit. maybe, thinking of all the deadlines slowed down the brisk walker in me.

all of a sudden, there were these giggly girls in pleated maroon skirts, white blouses and black shoes having all the fun they could possibly have while walking in pairs, telling jokes at each other, laughing loudly and screaming, "think positive, wag kang aayaw! think positive, wag kang aayaw!"

i laughed and remembered binoe's (i still can't get the logic of spelling binoy with NOE instead of NOY. hehe.) comercial. and now i have robin padilla and his clones shouting at me altogether "tink pasitib, wag kang aayaw! tink pasitib, wag kang aayaw!" and i can't get them to stop.

think positive because bawal umayaw.

can't get enough

while looking up for the picture of the book with the longest title on my previous post, i came accross this site called THE LONGEST LIST OF THE LONGEST STUFF AT THE LONGEST DOMAIN NAME AT LONG LAST . remove the spaces and add .com and you got yourself the url of the site.

here are some interesting info that i found:

What is the longest job title in the world?
London, England News Ad:Wanted: Temporary part-time libraries North-West inter-library loan business unit administration assistant.


How long was the longest lecture in the world?
From March 21 - 25 Errol Muzawazi, of Zimbabwe, gave a lecture on 'Democracy' in Poland lasting an incredible 88 hours and 04 seconds, beating his previous record of 62 hours 30 minutes.
Errol Muzawazi was able to take only a short break every 8 hours to eat, go to the bathroom and take a quick nap. His audience was not bound by the same rules and Errol was often found talking to himself as the audience slept.

So what exactly is the longest word in the world?
It all depends on your point of view, but here goes:
Officially the longest word is 'floccinaucinihilipilification' at 29 characters, meaning 'the act of estimating as worthless'.
Then there's 'antidisestablishmentarianism' at 28 letters, meaning 'opposition to the disestablishment of the Church of England'. It is often considered the longest word as it has an actual meaning instead of being created just to be long.
Unofficially the longest word is 'pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis' at 45 characters, meaning 'a lung disease'. It was created solely for the purpose of being the longest word, however, it does appear in a few dictionaries.


What is the world's longest place name?
A little village in Wales boasts the longest place name at 58 letters:Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch...
...But New Zealand makes the same claim with a hill containing 92 letters:Tetaumatawhakatangihangakoauaotamateaurehaeaturipukapihimaungahoronukupokaiwhenuaakitanarahu...
...But after some further digging we found the winner to be Bangkok. OK, so that's only 7 letters, but the official ceremonial name of Bangkok is Krung Thep Mahanakhon for short meaning 'City of Angels'.
The full name of Bangkok has many variations in spelling but we found what is believed to be the official spelling coming in at 163 letters:Krungthepmahanakornamornratanakosinmahintarayutthayamahadilokphopnopparatrajathaniburiromudomrajaniwesmahasatharnamornphimarnavatarnsathitsakkattiyavisanukamprasit

Longest Title of a Book

i was browsing through the guinness website to look for the list of the world's greatest thieves but i wasn't able to find it (yet). so i searched through the site and found a lot of interesting things. for now, i'm gonna share info about the Longest Title of a Book which i got from the Guinness World Records website.

here's the 411 about it:

WHO: Davide Ciliberti
WHAT: 1,433 characters (290 words)
WHERE: Italy
WHEN: July 2007

The longest title of a book is 1,433 characters (290 words) and was written by Davide Ciliberti (Italy) in July 2007. The book describes the idiosyncrasies of the PR world. The full title is "Per favore dite a mia madre che faccio il pubblicitario lei pensa che sono un pierre e che quindi regalo manciate di free entry e consumazioni gratis a chi mi pare, rido coi vips, i calciatori le veline e le giornaliste, leggo Novella e mi fotografano i paparazzi, entro neI privé saltando la coda, bevo senza pagare, sono ghiotto di tartine e gin tonic, ho la casa piena di oggetti di design, conosco Paris Hilton, Tom Ford ed Emilio"

Oh My(chael Phelps) Gosh!

michael phelps who had won more gold medals for himself than our country in the beijing olympics made a big mistake by smoking marijuana just weeks after winning the medals.

got this news (and photo) from timesonline.co.uk by Kevin Eason, Sports News Correspondent




A mixture of shock and disbelief swept the United States yesterday as the nation woke up to an abject apology from the man it had hailed as its greatest Olympic athlete. Michael Phelps was a hero and role model for millions but now his career will be stained forever by claims that he smoked drugs.
The world's greatest swimmer was forced to say sorry after a British tabloid newspaper showed a picture of him appearing to smoke marijuana through a glass pipe, known as a bong, at a student party just weeks after creating history at the Beijing Olympic Games. In a spellbinding week, Phelps had won a record eight gold medals and turned himself into a $100 million superstar.
But his reputation is in tatters. As Phelps's face beamed out from cereal packets on millions of breakfast tables throughout the US - the lucrative result of just one of his many sponsorship deals - his apology came as a desperate act of damage limitation.
Although marijuana is a recreational drug not considered to be performance-enhancing, it is banned under World Anti-Doping Agency rules and athletes caught smoking dope could face a ban of up to two years.

“I engaged in behaviour which was regrettable and demonstrated bad judgment,” Phelps said. “I am 23 years old and, despite the successes I have had in the pool, I acted in a youthful and inappropriate way, not in a manner that people have come to expect from me. For this, I am sorry. I promise my fans and the public it will not happen again.”

Phelps has never failed a drugs test and even offered to take extra tests before the Olympic Games last August to promote an anti-doping campaign. Phelps has not broken any of his sport's rules as he has not tested positive for a banned substance, but his high profile may force the US Olympic Committee to make an example of an athlete who, on the face of it, may be regarded as untouchable.

USA Swimming, the sport's governing body in the US, said that it was disappointed by Phelps's behaviour. “Our Olympic champions are role models who are looked up to by people of all ages, especially young athletes who have their own aspirations and dreams,” a statement read. “That said, we realise that none among us is perfect. We hope that Michael can learn from this incident and move forward in a positive way.”

Team-mates and friends were quick to defend him. Jason Lezak, who swam the anchor leg in the 400 metres freestyle relay that kept Phelps on track for his gold-medal record, said he was saddened by the revelations in the News of the World. “If my wife and I can help him in any way, we will,” he said. “I believe he will grow from this and be a better person.”

But the fallout could be huge according to marketing experts, who believe that there could be a mass bail-out by the sponsors who had clamoured to sign up Phelps after Beijing.

“If this is all true, it will be nothing short of a disaster,” John Taylor, chairman of Sports Impact, one of Britain's leading sponsorship agencies, said. “Every sponsor has something called a disrepute clause written into their contracts and I will bet a few of them will be running through the small print first thing on Monday morning. This is terrible for his image.”

Phelps earns up to £5 million a year from deals with ten leading companies, including Hilton Hotels, Omega watches, Kellogg's cereals and Speedo swimwear. Speedo paid Phelps a $1 million bonus for capturing his eight golds in Beijing. His appeal has spread around the globe since he turned the Olympics into a personal triumph. Only last month, he became the face of Mazda cars in China.

He has been here before: in 2004, shortly after winning six gold and two bronze medals at the Athens Olympics, he was sentenced to 18 months' probation for drink-driving. It seems that the Olympic curse has struck America's sporting hero once again

family picture

the streets were crowded with buses and jeepneys again because of the 5pm traffic jam. i was stuck in a non-aircon bus waiting for it to drop me off at my destination. on my right was a view of a filipino community enjoying the breezy afternoon in a place they treated as home-- the bridge. 'twas a scene with little kids running around the streets not aware of the perils of big buses and jeepneys, with mothers tending their tinging candy and yosi stand and with men, four of them, facing each other, seated on bangkitos, playing cards, one reaching for his pocket and buying a stick of cigarette while his left hand held the set of cards. it was good enough material for documentaries showing how filipinos still manage to be happy despite the crises.

after a few minutes, despite the traffic light giving the go signal, i was still in the same bus that overlooked the same picture. funny how my thoughts changed rapidly from being envious of those who were able to do a lot of things because they did not have to work, to feeling lucky and contented with what i have despite the struggle to balance a lot of things.

that picture reminded me that the irony in this society still has not been resolved. people who have more income have a few or no children at all. on the contrary, people who have less have the most number of children. people who have more resources work their butts off to earn money while people who have less, sit out the afternoons and play cards (and smoke cigar)! ahhh, the paradox of life.

dissappointed

i slept late last night because i was trying to renew the books i borrowed but it didn't make me do anything because from the red letters written on the page, i had an overdue book that was supposed to be returned last jan27. after checking all the places that i might have left it, i was certain that i did return the book personally last january 24, saturday, with my classmates. i even remember us talking to the librarian because a classmate renewed it online but the system did not recognize it so she had to pay the amount equivalent to the number of days it was overdue.

today, i went to school, with me were the three books i was supposed to renew online. i brought it with me just in case there were instances where the books were needed. i was told by the librarian to go to the third floor to check since it was evident that he did not know what to do next. irritated already, i went to the third floor and told them the scenario. I asked them politely,

"how can i prove that the books were returned? do you give a receipt or acknowledgement that it has been done?"

the librarian instead told me to check back in a few days after they search for the book. (read:NO)

"so what if you don't find the book? will it be charged against me or my records?"
she nodded and said that i would have to complete a form stating the loss of the book and for the mean time, i was to return the other books that were due. "but i need these books and i don't think it would be fair from being restricted to renew because of a book that's missing which clearly was not my fault" despite the things i told her, i was left with no choice but to return the book. i waited while the mister in the 4th floor was talking on the phone despite the queue. he told me that if i was only to return the books, i was free to go since nothing was needed from me. i told him that i'd wait and see for myself that he scanned the barcode. curious, he asked me what the problem was and for the third time, i told him the dilemma. the other employee heard it and said that the 3rd floor people already cleared me from what happened and that i was free to borrow the book again.

before going home, i checked OPAC and found the book labelled "for shelfing" so i dropped by the third floor and asked the librarian personally if they found the book already. she said yes and that i wouldn't be able to renew the book i had (pointing to the books i held) if i wasn't cleared. i thanked her and went home.

i didn't even get a "sorry" or even a "pasensya na sa abala" from any of them after all the things i had to go through because of someone's carelessness.

i'll be carrying a little notebook from now on to let them sign once i return the book no matter how silly they think of me.

mobile art

while i was doing the dishes, my father took advantage of the laptop and googled several images of the jeepney which he will be using as reference for his next set of pen and ink drawings. i taught him how to organize the photos and found this:

http://www.stuartxchange.org/

"iba iba pala sila" was my initial reaction but of course at the back of our minds, we know that they vary in color, size, design, style and even their blings but how many of us take time to really appreciate the intricate details of these kings? a lot of us disregard the jeepneys around mainly because they stop anywhere they want to, don't observe road courtesy, take time to call on passengers, and wouldn't care at all even if they cause the traffic jam. they are everywhere and there are sooo many of them and it's irritating most of the time. but how many of us take time to enjoy the perks of this mobile art?

same with colleagues and friends (and family too!), we have them around us everyday that we get used to it but we forget to thank them for simply being around.

what's wrong with this picture?

easy.

manny pacquiao without his hangers-on? that is sooo not right.

while waiting for the family to get dressed for the 10am mass, a copy of the Sunday Inquirer Magazine caught my attention and forced me to sit down and take a few minutes of my waiting time to scan the pages of the magazine. pictures of Manny Pacquiao were splattered on the pages as if he owned the magazine. there was young manny with blonde hair, manny and his OscarDLH bout, manny and JMmarquez in the boxing ring and many others. but the picture of the motorcade of this whole manny-beating-the-golden-boy-thing caught my attention and made me laugh. this is a PDI photo but since i was not able to find a clearer, better one, i just took a shot from my phone.

for those who still aren't able to laugh with me, let me tell you why.

manny is a celebrated boxer that at the end of his fight, many politicians jostle for every photo-op moment. this and that calls him so their names would be mentioned in one way or another. some would make him wear caps or head bands with the logo of the product he endorses. and poor manny, obliges with neither protest nor hesitation.

now every time he tours the metro for his motorcade, his tatay-tatayan (and family) is always beside him. in this photo, he was covered by the philippine flag no less but the trademark red and white (polo shirt) flower ensemble can still be seen.

it just seemed wrong to see manny all alone without his hangers-on and for the first time, (only in this photo) it did look like an honest-to-goodness victory motorcade and not an early campaign.

PASINAYA '09

it's the time of the year when everyone gets to enter and watch as many shows as they can in CCP. no matter how they say that the CCP is for everyone to enjoy, sad to say, it's not what it turns out to be because only the upperclass can afford concert tickets of worldclass performers. but today, the CCP was packed with all sorts of people (whether it be from upper, middle and lower classes) to enjoy free (snippets) MUSIC, DANCE, FILM, THEATER, VISUAL ARTS, LITERATURE, CULINARY ARTS, KIDS' ZONE, and BAZAAR.

(L-R) outside the CCP bldg., the chiang kai shek college youth choir, the pasinaya programme,(second row) the bayanihan philippine national folk dance company, sining bulakeno and audience and performer(s) at the main theater lobby, (third row) sibul dancers, the ccp staircase, father and child, me and my sister with the higante from Angono.

the filipinos have sooo much talent to show.

in the pasinaya alone,there were more that 85 groups and each had more than 20 performers.

it's actually an event to watch out for.

too bad for literature, there was only one event (WORDJAM) scheduled almost an hour after another. worse, it was in the 4th floor hallway pa!

unfotunately, pasinaya is only for a day but for those who were not able to watch it today, it's ok coz feb is the National Arts Month and for sure, more talents will be showcased.

good laugh, anyone?

i came accross this maybe last month.

fuck you, penguin is the name of the site and i find it rather interesting.

see for yourself.

what do you think?

would you rather be an artist who does a little bit of everything (part visual artist, part musician, part writer, part designer, etc) or be someone who is really great in just one craft (writing only or visual arts only etc.)?

how cheap could one get?

when i find a real cheap good read, i get excited and happy, thinking that i got lucky. it makes me want to leave the mall and go home immediately despite the on going shoe sale. it only hit me today when an officemate lent me a hardbound book (still including the jacket), half an inch thick, all intact without a single page missing. the book still has it's stimulating odor even if you put it 2 inches away from your nose and all the pages are still crisp. in short, the book is good as new (with copyright 2003).

my only problem is that it is only 10 pesos!

judging from the jacket of this book, it had gone through different price ranges because of the price stickers that are overlapping each other now. and it settled to 10 pesos before my officemate bought it (i wonder how much it would cost though if she did not buy it). it had $15.99 US and $23.99 CAN written at the back of the book jacket. i computed it and felt a twinge in my stomach when i saw the value.

the book is entitled flying south written by laura malone elliott and it "celebrates a young girl's coming-of-age in a delicate, moving narative that sings with the understated, yet resonant, pleasures of life in the American South." it is basically for young-adults ages 9 and up.

how do authors feel about their book being done in years of hardwork, not knowing that in the other side of the world (a third world country in particular), the value won't even be equivalent to that of a dollar.

finding Gilda

"Since I am a computer illit, it was left to my husband to access the site."
- Gilda Cordero-Fernando on planning to read Cecille Zamora's blog

(The advantages of dying By Gilda Cordero-Fernando/Inquirer/09/30/2007)

no wonder i did not find her blog. or her email address .
it was mostly blogs about her.

there's got to be a way to reach Gilda,

do you guys have any idea?

in whatever you think say or do.

i wasn't able to post a blog yesterday because of the internet connection. i had everything planned, cook dinner, wash the dishes, send my close reading via email and write my take away's for the entire day and post it in this blog. i was able to do the household chores but the last 2, i wasn't. as if someone was making fun of me, the internet connection suddenly got lost. of all the days it could go on AWOL, it was last night, around 11pm, a few hours before the start if a brand new day. ugh! had i ignored the facebook and multiply updates, then maybe, a january 26 post would be read fron this blog.
i woke up cranky because of not being able to write something and the LRT incident on my way to work added up to my sunshin-ey morning. i've always hated riding the LRT on rush hours. the train is packed with decent looking ladies (i always ride on the ladies coach) with faces covered in make-up, their hair nicely done and wearing crease-free uniforms and high-heeled shoes. they are nice to look at but these ladies seem to be competitive too since they literally in a no-holds-barred-kind-of-way push you so they too would be able to ride the train. imagine a space for 1 person can fit 5 aggressive ladies. tsk.
but that's just going to work where everything is half the battle, where everyone is still energetic and ready to face the day. but when it's past 5 in the afternoon and everyone wants to be home after a hard day's work in a flash, the battle is doubled, you only not fight your way to be able to get in (or sometimes, you don't have to walk because the others will just push you) but you also have to be strong enough to push people on your way out. if not, people who are wanting to get in will push you even more until you no longer have the strength to even say "may bababa pa po"
where are these people coming from? they seem to be well educated and decent but how come they are able to do things like these? how come they're not disciplined enough to just wait for the next train and not push one another? is it because they're used to doing it at home? kaya di umaasenso ang pilipinas eh.
but as i was contemplating on how stupid it was to do facebook and multiply first (thinking that i had time to do the blog after a few minutes after) i thought that i myself had no discipline. that i myself contributed to "di pag-asenso ng pilipinas" well i don't push someone else around and i try not to step on someone else's foot but the discipline for my craft was missing. discipline is not only someone's behavior towards something but also the control over one's self.
i was busy looking for answers for other people's lack of discipline not knowing i had mine lacking, only in a different aspect.
so the saying "discipline should start within or with oneself" is not merely something we can quote or design the elementary classrooms with. it should be embedded and practiced in whatever you think, say or do.

slumdog millionaire

this is in my "to watch out for" movie list. i was able to watch the trailer in apple.com/trailers and i imediately loved it. one of the things that i love about this movie is the rich indian culture that is shown althroughout the movie. too bad blogger does not allow me to upload the video using only the url or the embed code. it has to be downloaded from the pc.

anyway, here is the description of the movie from apple.com

Jamal Malik, a penniless eighteen year-old orphan from the slums of Mumbai, is one question away from winning a staggering 20 million rupees on India’s “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?” But when the show breaks for the night, suddenly, he is arrested on suspicion of cheating. After all, how could an uneducated street kid possibly know so much? Determined to get to the bottom of Jamal’s story, the jaded Police Inspector spends the night probing Jamal’s incredible past, from his riveting tales of the slums where he and his brother Salim survived by their wits to his hair-raising encounters with local gangs to his heartbreak over Latika, the unforgettable girl he loved and lost. Each chapter of Jamal’s increasingly layered story reveals where he learned the answers to the show’s seemingly impossible quizzes. But one question remains a mystery: what is this young man with no apparent desire for riches really doing on the game show? When the new day dawns and Jamal returns to answer the final question, the Inspector and sixty million viewers are about to find out…

brenda

nakahinga din ako sa di mahulugang karayom na estado ng LRT. pagkatapos ng mangilan-ngilang tulakan at balyahan, nakalabas din ako. alas said y'media na at sa wakas ay narating ko na ang UN station. konting lakad nalang at pwede na akong sumalampak sa higaan o magbasa o magmuni-muni.

napansin ko na sa mga nagdaang buwan, tuwing bumababa ako, ang unang tumatambad sa paningin ko ay ang dalagitang nakaupo sa mga baitang ng hagdan. sa tabi niya'y isang plastik na baso kung saan matatanaw ang kakarampot na barya na mayroon siya. hindi alintana ang dami ng taong dumadaan sa harap niya, patuloy itong nagsasalita na animoy siya ay may kausap na nakikinig sa mga kwento niya. sinasabayan ito ng mayat mayang kumpas ng kanyang mga kamay na parang tinatapik ang kausap.

siya at ang mga katanungan ko ang kumukonsumo sa ilang minuto kong paglalakad patungo sa bahay. "naapektuhan na kaya ang kanyang utak dahil sa gutom, o inaaliw niya lang ang sarili niya?" "asan kaya ang kanyang mga magulang?" "sapat ba ang limos na nakuha niya para makabili ng pang-hapunan?" ito din ang nagpapa-alala sa akin na magpasalamat sa anumang biyayang natatanggap ko at magpasensya sa mga taong makukulit na sumasakay na ng tren kahit di pa nakakababa yung ilan.

at kahit anong pagod at hirap ang pinagdaanan ko buong maghapon, kahit papano ay may bahay akong mauuwian at matutulugan para maka ipon ng enerhiya sa darating na umaga hindi tulad ng bata, maghapon na ngang nanglilimos, pag uwi niya'y di manlang makapaghilamos.

what's in it for you?

my site's pretty much under construction but i won't stop you guys from reading something. just click on their names and you'll get to their blogs asap. have fun : )

ian rosales casocot

mia tijam

conrado de quiros

frank cimatu

bianca gonzales

and someone who calls himself bullet. i don't know who he is yet up until now but i've read a couple of his posts. let me know if you know him.

there are soooo many bloggers (celebrities, politicians, basketball stars paid to write their own blog. paid!) nowadays and i begin to realize the question that was raised early today. what's in it for my readers? what makes me different from the rest of this blogging society that readers would read mine instead of the others.

i have a gift...

i used to call it squeezing of one's hand.

until today when two of my officemates told me to massage their hands since i was good at it (daw). i obliged but warned them beforehand not to laugh at my skills since i was just literally squeezing their hands. they made a concerted effort in convincing me that i was really good at it. i thought about it half convinced and half thinking that they just wanted more. then it struck me when one of them told me that "you have a gift that you don't know?"

and then i realized that these people who only knew me for some six months tell me wholeheartedly that i am good at this but i keep on pushing the idea of it coz i don't think i am.

maybe this is the answer to all of my "am i good enough for this?" questions and nonsense. that maybe i am good enough or even more than good but it is myself who prevents me from being so.

good thing i have a great family i can rant and sulk about my childish insecurities with. and good thing they listen but do not agree. and the best thing about it is that they give me their all out support in everything that i do. sulking and negative ranting not included.

all of them will get a massage from me then!

true blue Batang Sining

i was supposed to write about my love for children's books and how i want to write and illustrate my own someday when it led me to tito dok as we fondly call him or Dr. Luis Gatmaitan to his patients. he is a doctor who has written a lot of award winning books for children and luckily, i was able to work with him when i was doing my OJT in CCP in a workshop for kids called Batang Sining. Aside from tito dok, i also worked with the Literary Arts Division team of tita Ester Eban and tito Hermie Beltaran. anyway, i was looking for more info about batang sining when i found this site with our pictures on it. i spent almost a week being with kids reading poems, stories, making artworks, working together for the puppet show, and of course, tantrums and catfights included. it was the best part of my OJT and will never ever be forgotten.

as for myself, i will continue to be inspired by tito dok (for children's lit) and beth parrocha-doctolero (for the illustrations)

i miss my batang sining family!

random rant

usually when i'm somewhere else but in front of the computer, i have lots of stuff to rant about. i'm like "ooh this is gonna make a good blog" and i'd be excited the entire day thinking about it. the treadmill, me standing on a jeepney, the packed LRT as usual, me being too big aready, me being told i'm pretty if only i were thin, sitting beside a manny pacquiao lookalayk in the bus, the cigarette vendor, the view from the 37th floor, me hating this and loving that. i even think of a catchy first sentence. but on nights like this. after working for 8 hours, after talking for 8hours, after facing the computer for 8 hours, after sitting for 8 hours, after worrying about my metrics for 8 hours, after being in the sky (37th floor, rcbc tower) for 8 hours, after being stuck in a traffic jam and a packed LRT and after cooking dinner and washing the dishes, i end up writing this instead.

i hope that i'll be in a better blogging condition tomorrow.

ohhh. one last. i just heard manny pacquiao on tv and still can't believe he named his daughter queen elizabeth. (separate entry for that)

Obama-nized

how big a change can he exactly make?

why not chocnut?

i've come a long way. uh. i guess so.

oh no no no no no. i'm not bragging here or anything. it's just me thinking aloud slash talking to myself in private without even thinking that this is being posted through the whole www.

i have come a long way. hah. that's a tough thing to say.

well, for someone who wanted to learn creative writing to be able to pursue her dream of being able to write for a teens magazine, and now wants to write her own book and win a palanca instead, i must've really come a long way. with my realizations that is.

i knoooow it's so so ambitious but you can't blame me though. it just came across my mind one afternoon and it did make me smile -- for a really long time. *eyes twinkling*

thanks to lipservice!

i just realized how uneasy i was with poetry when dr. marj asked me to read something for our class discussion. when it came to the word poem, i had to either pause before pronouncing it or repeat the word twice. my mind was fighting between pom, po-wem and poym and i ended up with po-wim! crazy. but now i'll settle for pom and repeat it at least 5 times a day. haha.
(dr. marj is another "poem" incident since i dunno how to spell her name. i read a lot of marj and others written as marge, better ask her instead)

i want to share a poem that i got to know just last week. accdg to dr. marj, his book is not in bookstores yet since it was released just this january. i promise i'm gonna buy his book as soon as it is released. or if someone can give me a copy that's even better! haha. he is gifted with a lambent wit that he shares with his readers in this book. i'm not sure if i can post his poem here but i really want you guys to read it.

LIPSERVICE
by Sid Cruz from his book Redeeming the Body

The new barber who used to live abroad
speaks to me in misspelled words.
I nod in the mirror. [Be nice.]

Keep stale, I hear him say
as he stays my head. Else
you might get bold, he chuckles.

Bald? I attempt to ask,
but he brushes cut off hair
around my mouth.
What if he mistakes my ear
for my hair?

The barber flicks his sheares.
I left my wife in Marry-lend, he says.
She's my love and cancellation.
But i don't mutter to her... A waiter asks her,
"Ma'am, would you like to go bottomless?"
And I flare up coz she says yes.
She glares at me, "It's the tea, silly!"
I still trust her, the barber tells me,
but you can't be Saussure.

The barber muses about America,
about how even garbage collectors there
fight for issues like segregation.
Finally, he let's me go.
The cashier tells me the new barber,
who used to be a Private First Class,
got his training in a crash course.
My old barber, she announces sadly,
has suffered a nervous breakdown.
Meters away the new barber nods at me
and spins his finger around his temple.
I leave with cheers in my eyes. I don't
wish him and his wife an injuring love.

At times I think this is all
there is to it and nothing more,
yet each time we pack and unpack our bags,
living one day at a time,
I sense another door ready to admit us,
our baggage and our gifts,
by which they all can remember us both
for some time.

crazy right? and this is just one of the many poems in his book!
i'm gonna work my hardest to learn, write, read and enjoy poetry to the fullest!

my orange tree moment...

the orange tree

away up high in an orange tree
two little oranges smiled at me
i shook the tree
as hard as i could
down came the oranges
hmmm. they were good

while preparing dinner, i told papa that the tomatoes in his tinola looked like sliced oranges. without thinking, i immediately blurted out (in a childish tone) the first two lines of this children's poem

away up high in an orange tree ...

my sister laughed and we both recited the poem together, pausing to think of the lines that followed.

we shook the tree with actions like what we used to do while we were in nursery.

we were having fun. then it dawned on me. it was a poem. and i wasn't hesitant to recite it. to feel it. to enjoy it. i didn't have butterflies in my stomach. i didn't worry about the rythm or the imagery or the measurement.

unconsciously at least.

after a moment, i realized that it had most of the elements of a poem. because if not, it wouldn't be a big hit or popular as it is.

i realized too that if i set aside all my worries (including dr. marj evasco as my poetry professor!) things would loosen up a bit. if i enjoyed it as it is, like the orange tree, i might probably have fun and erase the thick line i've created between poetry and myself. it's never too late.

wish me luck!

here's to embracing and enjoying poetry!