palanca huh?

well this is kind of crazy but i am in my right mind right now but i just couldn't believe what i'm doing.
i am downloading and printing forms, rules and authorizations for the 59th Carlos Palanca Memorial Awards for Literature.
i am freaaakin joining the competition! lol
i know it's sounds sooo ambitious.
i have been dreaming of joining the competition but not this early when i am just a froshie in my 3rd term of my MFA.
but then again, it was made clear by my professor at the beginning of the term that we are required to submit a palanca worthy creative non-fiction piece.
okaaaay. so i guess i'd have to deal with it then.
i know there's a one in a million chance that i'll win this competition. i know so but at least i get to live the dream of joining such.
so maybe next time, fingers, toes, tongue, and eyes crossed, i'll get to live the dream of winning such.
wishful thinking too early eh?

--what made you jumpy as a jellybean today?

!*#$^?%Y#!!!

whenever a balikbayan relative comes home, there won't be a part where they would ignore the fact that i am NOT a nurse or make sure that in the next couple of years, i turn out to be one. reason being is for me to be able to go to the states, work there, help my family and all that stuff. i smile wryly and tell them "i'm afraid of blood" even if i know that it's the lamest excuse. without hesitation, they would prod and make me realize that it's just as easy as ABC and that i need to make a few sacrifices and once i get the hang of it, i'll enjoy it, and maybe someday, reap the fruits of my labor. i give up and smile and keep my mouth shut to prevent myself from telling them things that they'd be sorry to hear. then again, they are my relatives, and not to mention, very much older than i am.

going to the states is awesome, but they won't be able to force me to become a nurse to be able to go there. nurses are great people and i think they should be respected and should not be thought of as people who have easy access to the U.S.A.

pop's blog

since i don't have time to edit my layout and add some links yet , i'll be posting my father's blog link here. i'd like to believe that i inspired him again to write on his blog with my pen and ink and more ink entry. he hasn't written there in six months i guess and today he posted not only one but six entries.

http://egotrikk.blogspot.com/

of gossip girl and my writing and picture taking

watching the entire season 2 of gossip girl after all can put out creative juices. i was inspired by jenny (a fashion designer) and dan (a writer) humphrey to dig up these photos. these were before starting my new job and my MFA. in short, these photos were products of my being a bum. i bought a point and shoot pentax from my back pay and started taking pictures of practically anything inside the house. i only got to do outdoor stuff whenever i attended birthdays, weddings, baptisms. while looking for these in my multiply account, i noticed that the recent photos were only that of me attending some gathering and most of the photos by me were on the archived pages. i stopped taking photos when i started MFA. it was either i didn't have enough time with school or work. i remember posting an entry about being all i can be (not the BB Gandanghari kind of way) vs. sticking with what i really want to do and focus on it. i want to take more photos from around the city, the people and not just just still images. i want the viewers to be moved when they see or read my work as mentioned in my previous entry as well.

christmas 2007

summer bummer 2008

summer bummer 2008

first godmothering stint 2008

city shots 2008

LRT shots 2008

feeling social-realist 2008

feeling social realist pa din 2008

i dunno how i'm gonna do it but i want to do both writing and photography. not that the two would be different, because both capture certain images. it's a matter of time management which i am soooo struggling to do manage right now.

as for gossip girl, i may be the lowly jenny humphrey, but like her, i can be good at my craft if i work really hard for it.

xoxo.

R.I.P kiko

it has been a celebrity week.
chirs brown, rihanna, and the eraserheads.
today, it's francis m.
my officemate told me after lunch that she received a text message from a friend.
"francis m. already passed away"
i told her "di nga? seryoso ka?"
"ano ba ang makukuha ko pag nagsinungaling ako girl?" she said.
oo nga naman.
and so the day went by without francis m's death really in mind.
i watched the news and then it struck me when i saw his family.
his kids especially.
being the emotional that i am,
i was crying the entire time they said something wonderful about their father.
his last words, his last glance, last smile etc.
emo, i know.
it's just that i realized that they won't have a father to come home to and share stories with (physically)
that after so many years of being together while growing up, he suddenly dies and won't come back ever again.
it's painful.

eraserheads

concert na naman ng eraserheads ngayong sabado. may mga nalalaman pa silang "Among the 10,000,000 Filipino fans, only 100,000 can witness it live on March 7" at "This will be the reunion of all reunions as it is said to be Buddy, Ely, Marcus and Raimund’s last performance as the Eraserheads in the country for the next 10 years.." sa totoo lang, pagkatapos kong mapanood yung mga video sa youtube ang concert nila, pinangako ko sa sarili ko na hindi ko palalampasin ang pangalawang pagkakataon na ito. na pihadong pihado na andodoon ako sa araw na magaganap itong pambihirang kasaysayan lalo nat mukhang pang huli na ito. pero eto na naman ako. ni wala man lang akong tinext (bukod kay joyce) para makipag-usap sa mga makakasama kong manood o kung meron pang tiket. at eto na naman ako, pinalalagpas na naman ang isang pagkakataon.

naiinis ako sa sarili ko dahil hindi ko ito unang beses ginawa. mukhang nakakasanayan ko na ang ganitong pag-uugali na kung susuriin ay hindi nararapat. lagi kong ipinapangako na hindi na mauulit ang kagagahan o ang katamaran pero mukhang dun din nauuwi. kahapon lamang ay may naisulat ako tungkol kay rihanna na kahit anung pasa ng mukha niya ay binalikan pa rin niya ang nobyo niyang nananakit. nakakalungkot kung iisipin pero kung tutuusin, maihahalintulad din ang karamihan sa atin sa kanya, yung umaasang may mababago, magiging okey, pero walang ginagawa. hindi kumikilos.

sana lang hindi ito ang huli ng eraserheads. sana ay mabigyan nila ako ng pagkakataong tuparin ang mga pangako ko.

chrianna

after being battered and left in a highway all alone by boyfriend chris brown, rihanna and boyfriend chris are back together! seriously?! what was she thinking? i'm no chrianna fan but damage has been done and i don't think it would do them any good. same goes to all the emotionally or physically battered women who still think of giving those kind people second chances.

photo from tmz.com