in whatever you think say or do.

i wasn't able to post a blog yesterday because of the internet connection. i had everything planned, cook dinner, wash the dishes, send my close reading via email and write my take away's for the entire day and post it in this blog. i was able to do the household chores but the last 2, i wasn't. as if someone was making fun of me, the internet connection suddenly got lost. of all the days it could go on AWOL, it was last night, around 11pm, a few hours before the start if a brand new day. ugh! had i ignored the facebook and multiply updates, then maybe, a january 26 post would be read fron this blog.
i woke up cranky because of not being able to write something and the LRT incident on my way to work added up to my sunshin-ey morning. i've always hated riding the LRT on rush hours. the train is packed with decent looking ladies (i always ride on the ladies coach) with faces covered in make-up, their hair nicely done and wearing crease-free uniforms and high-heeled shoes. they are nice to look at but these ladies seem to be competitive too since they literally in a no-holds-barred-kind-of-way push you so they too would be able to ride the train. imagine a space for 1 person can fit 5 aggressive ladies. tsk.
but that's just going to work where everything is half the battle, where everyone is still energetic and ready to face the day. but when it's past 5 in the afternoon and everyone wants to be home after a hard day's work in a flash, the battle is doubled, you only not fight your way to be able to get in (or sometimes, you don't have to walk because the others will just push you) but you also have to be strong enough to push people on your way out. if not, people who are wanting to get in will push you even more until you no longer have the strength to even say "may bababa pa po"
where are these people coming from? they seem to be well educated and decent but how come they are able to do things like these? how come they're not disciplined enough to just wait for the next train and not push one another? is it because they're used to doing it at home? kaya di umaasenso ang pilipinas eh.
but as i was contemplating on how stupid it was to do facebook and multiply first (thinking that i had time to do the blog after a few minutes after) i thought that i myself had no discipline. that i myself contributed to "di pag-asenso ng pilipinas" well i don't push someone else around and i try not to step on someone else's foot but the discipline for my craft was missing. discipline is not only someone's behavior towards something but also the control over one's self.
i was busy looking for answers for other people's lack of discipline not knowing i had mine lacking, only in a different aspect.
so the saying "discipline should start within or with oneself" is not merely something we can quote or design the elementary classrooms with. it should be embedded and practiced in whatever you think, say or do.