i have a gift...

i used to call it squeezing of one's hand.

until today when two of my officemates told me to massage their hands since i was good at it (daw). i obliged but warned them beforehand not to laugh at my skills since i was just literally squeezing their hands. they made a concerted effort in convincing me that i was really good at it. i thought about it half convinced and half thinking that they just wanted more. then it struck me when one of them told me that "you have a gift that you don't know?"

and then i realized that these people who only knew me for some six months tell me wholeheartedly that i am good at this but i keep on pushing the idea of it coz i don't think i am.

maybe this is the answer to all of my "am i good enough for this?" questions and nonsense. that maybe i am good enough or even more than good but it is myself who prevents me from being so.

good thing i have a great family i can rant and sulk about my childish insecurities with. and good thing they listen but do not agree. and the best thing about it is that they give me their all out support in everything that i do. sulking and negative ranting not included.

all of them will get a massage from me then!